Hanoi + Yen Bai + Sapa Valley, Vietnam = Reconnection

“I have stayed true to that first idea that people can have a day in their lives that is very important and if they can reconnect with that day, reconnect with the people they were then, they can suddenly revive their emotions” – Victoria Wood

“Nothing is more important that reconnecting with your bliss. Nothing is as rich. Nothing is more real” -Deepak Chopra

Last week I visited Hanoi, Yen Bai, and Sapa Valley in Vietnam via motorbike. I embarked on what I was not sure would be a memorable trip. But someone once told me life is what you make out of it–cheesy, I know. Although it rings every bit true to it’s core. It was one of my most memorable.

Nathanael, whom I met in Thailand, was visiting me where I live here in Beijing this month. I am still not sure what happened. Was it solely within myself or were there other contributing factors to why I was seemingly unhappy at this time. This was supposed to be an amazing month with a person I thought I had a long term future with. I told him within his first week in Beijing that I was not sure if we were totally compatible–but is anyone 100% compatible? But this is a part of who he is as a person which I would never expect or demand he change. You should never change for anyone, just find someone who can live with your flaws because we all have them. The best we can do is hope someone can see past them and love us regardless. He is always talking about finances and money. This irritated me at times because in the past I have been swallowed in debt with no money at all barely getting by. Now I am financially stable and able to travel the world and enjoy my life. Somehow his money talk made me feel restricted in what I wanted to do with him. However, maybe this is not incompatibility at all. He knows how I feel about this because I have told him before. He explained why he does it, for his work and it is an interest of his. Maybe this month I have been blinded by subconscious selfishness consumed in the stress of exhaustion from teaching kids and working all the time, that I did not stop to put myself in his shoes. I did not truly see what I had until it was gone as I lay here writing now.

Since I told him within his first week in Beijing that I did not think if we were still compatible, we stopped acting like a couple. Things became different between us. We didn’t hold hands, or kiss. A part of me missed this a lot but I didn’t know if I should tell him because I had just previously said I wasn’t sure if we were compatible. There were times where I would look at him and I had wished he would touch his hand to the side of my face. I wanted to be felt like I was taken care of, appreciated, and cared about like how it was. Maybe I ruined it by saying I was not sure if we were compatible. A part of me thinks we were both a bit selfish that month. I was consumed in work stresses and easily annoyed by everything and confused. He was here working and alone a lot of the time while I was at work. A huge part of me wanted to come home one day and he would be there with flowers, a hug, and tell my how he felt. Of course this is me romanticizing. I wish I had told him this then. So we head to Vietnam together…

Chasing the mountains in Sapa Valley and chasing what I really feel coexisted deeply with each other on this trip. Surprisingly chasing the mountains proved easy in comparison to my feelings. Once they are found, they hold no secrets. They reveal every part of themselves to you. When I finally first gazed upon them I felt as if they were a specially wrapped gift addressed to my soul–saying ‘You have come all this way, I hope we please you so’. This gift was so fitting considering it was my 24th birthday over the course of this adventure. At the beginning of this trip we did not act like a couple but all of a sudden one evening we were taking a stroll around the lake and he put his arm around me and I immediately felt at home. I felt like saying ‘why haven’t we been doing this the whole time? I don’t know why I said we’re incompatible because I like you so much’, but instead I just said nothing and let him hold me. I didn’t want it to end. We kissed the next night and it felt so right, like China didn’t happen. We had several amazing moments together. From enjoying the nonexistent view from the top of Fansipan mountains in Sapa Valley (due to incredible amounts of fog), to playing with children in the streets of Yen Bai who were amazed at the sight of foreigners, to bonding over our butt pains from the incredibly long motorbike rides from Hanoi to Yen Bai, then Yen Bai to Sapa Valley. We slowly started reconnecting and it was everything I wanted. It felt so right. I don’t even know what I was thinking back in China. I felt taken care of and cared about. He moved over on the airplane flight just so I could lay down to sleep. During our first day in Sapa Valley he drove me around everywhere to make sure I got amazing photographs because he knows it’s my passion. The sun came out later so he drove me back around so I could get even better shots. We were really on this journey and this adventure together. I finally reconnected with nature, my passion for photography, and us.

I hope that the fire we both made still burns a little in you.

H A N O I :

Hanoi, Vietnam was extremely loud due to the giant mobs of motorbikes crowding the streets. It was extremely hot. I was only there for one day, in which we visited a Tibetan temple, which was an active worship sight so no tourists or anyone in sight for that matter. It was calming and peaceful.

Y E N  B A I :

Yen Bai, Vietnam was for some odd reason one of my favorite places I visited. We were like local celebrities as we drove through the streets children and people would wave at us and yell the only English they knew–“hello!”. I am thoroughly convinced we were possibly the only foreigners they had ever seen in their lives. We really were in the middle of nowhere in Vietnam. We walked the streets that night and ran into some children playing in the streets with paper airplanes. The girl took a particular liking to me and kept passing me the airplane to throw for her to go run and catch. We sat there for a while hanging out with them. A truly authentic experience you can’t book on trip advisor and you can’t buy. Wow, something you can’t buy for once in life–true experience.

S A P A  V A L L E Y :

Although it is not peak season for the rice terraces, it was nevertheless breathtaking. We stayed at a cute hotel in Sapa Town. Sapa Town was tourist central. The people here seemed less friendly than they were in Yen Bai. No more waving an saying hello. Instead it was replaced with indigenous people trying to sell me jewelry. This being because, Sapa is exposing the indigenous peoples’ culture and selling it to tourism for profit. Tradition should never be used for profit. Although I am sure this is how these people make their money, they seemed very unhappy about it. I felt very badly about this so I did not partake in any of the trekking or activities that funded the exposition of any villages and their culture. It felt almost like they were treated like a zoo attraction by the tourist industry–forced exposure. I found it extremely distasteful. Me and Nathanael opted for driving out of Sapa Town on our motorbike seeking beautiful landscapes, viewpoints, and destinations around the area. We found this to be a much more independent, respectful, and adventurous use of our time in Sapa Valley.

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